Where's Chuck?
by Technician Fan
Summary: Amelia wants to play chess with Chuck, but Chuck is missing and Amelia is on the war path, look out Pegasus Galaxy! Can the team, plus a rather unhappy guest, find Chuck before its too late? WARNING! this story is pure crack!


**Where's Chuck?**

_By: Technician Fan_

_also known as Rixa for those who don't know we are three different people!_

Disclaimer:

Sadly we do not own Stargate Atlantis, we cry over this fact.

Authors note: sorry to anyone who tries to find this story by using Chuck B. it was not on the list while i was publishing it so i apologise. an yes i know Chucks last mane is Campbell (pardon my bad spelling), but i looked for it but all i found was Chuck B. so don't yell at me if you can't find it!

**_Also i only gonna say this once: THIS ONE SHOT IS BASED ON A FREAKING DREAM PEOPLE! _**

**_that is why the characters are out of character and why so many weired things happen!_**

All was normal for the people of Atlantis; they were not the original inhabitants mind you, but they still came to call it home. But like I said it was an ordinary day…. Aww who am I kidding nothing is an ordinary day for these guys! But at least everything SEEMED normal, everyone was going about there business: Sheppard was trying to flirt with Teyla (poorly), Ronon was standing back watching Sheppard make a fool of himself, Carter was ignoring Rodney as he tried to argue about who was smarter: him or her, and Amelia was sitting at her console doing whatever technicians do in there off time while on duty. It was when she tried to play a game of online chess with her good friend Chuck, that she noticed he was absent from his usual station. "Hey guys, where's Chuck?" she said to all who could hear her, which in the large gate room included all mentioned above. "Huh? Oh dang I didn't even notice he was gone!" remarked Carter with a slightly sheepish grin. It would seem that no one noticed the absence of the beloved Chuck-nician (Radmoxe says: "WHOOT"). "Wonder where he disappeared to?" said Amelia as she tried to hack into the science department server to play chess with her friend Cassidy in the Botany Labs. "Well… for now were going to need a replacement, any ideas?" said Carter with an exasperated sigh.

It was then that a mental light bulb went off in the head of John Sheppard, "I gotcha covered…" she said as he whipped out is cell phone a dialed a very LONG string of numbers. "Hey buddy hate to end your vacation, but I need your help with something… Yeah I'm at Atlantis… Ok great." He said to the unknown being on the other end of the phone. It wasn't long until the Stargate activated and from the puddle like surface came the most unbelievable sight. It was none other than Todd the Wraith, with two of his subordinates, but Todd was not wearing the usual leather outfit, that the Wraith were known for… oh no he was decked out in unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt, swim trunks, sunglasses, flip-flops, with sun screen on there face, and a rubber ducky floaty. "What is it that is so important that it could not wait till the end of my vacation Sheppard!" said Todd as he stormed up the stairs to the place where said Brunette stood, as he fought fits of laughter. Sheppard just pointed at the empty console, not trusting himself enough to speak. "You want me to find one of your technicians?! You interrupted my vacation to find a technician!!!!!" Roared Todd, and if it were possible for a Wraith to turn purple from rage, he would have been the deepest shade. "Um… not exactly but that would be even better… we just wanted to be his temporary replacement." Said Sheppard as he attempted to calm the fuming wraith. "Fine, as you humans say: _whatever_." He then snapped his fingers and one of his subordinates (lets call him George) brought him a strange devise. Which Rodney being the dork he is, snatched away and said "Huh… what does this thing do?" which Todd promptly snatched back while stating "it's a Life force detector, its similar the your scanners, but instead of telling you where someone is at this moment it traces where they have been."

He then activated the devise and pointed it at all people in the room. Everyone glowed a different color as the beam of ordinary light moved over them.

Ronon: fiery red,  
Teyla: subtle lime green,  
Sheppard: vibrant Orange,  
Amelia: baby blue,  
Carter: Hibiscus yellow,  
Rodney: peacock purple,  
and Todd's subordinates George and Louis each glowed dark blue and forest green respectively.

Todd then, feeling his demonstration satisfied their curiosities, shined the light on Chuck's chair. Then followed the teal path his life force made to the gate horizon, it was then that he noticed a second life force next to, a path of hot pink. "Uh oh… as you humans say, this is not good. I am sorry to say that your friend has been taken prisoner." Said Todd, adding as much sympathy to his tone as he could; which is probably not a lot for a wraith. "Why would anyone take a technician?" said Carter, clearly worried that someone would want to harness the power of Ancient technology. Todd just shrugged and returned to his scanning to see if he could trace were the last dial out went to from the life force on the keys of Chuck's console. "I hate to interrupt your ponderings, but I have an address." He sated after a few moments of Sheppard and his team chatting amongst them selves.

Todd then dialed the address, and they proceeded though the gate to find Chuck…. with Amelia at the lead. After having to put Sheppard in a head lock and kick Ronon in the shin. The gate they dialed was on a barren desert planet, but it did not take them long to find who had abducted Chuck, a giant Wraith mother ship sat amongst the dunes. It was evident that Chuck had been taken to help repair their ship. "It is as I feared" said Todd as he stood behind Amelia, who stood at the top of the dune. "Why? Is this hive that bad?" said Rodney, as he wondered what tortures poor Chuck could be going through. This was difficult because he didn't actually remember what Chuck looked like, so he just unwittingly imagined it as himself. It was not long till Amelia jumped off the dune and started running towards the open Dart hanger, with the rest of the rescue team hot on her tail. Once inside they noticed something strange… the whole place was pink. That and there was no wraiths to be seen.

Rodney then pulled out his handy-dandy… detector thingy… and found that all wraiths were congregated in one spot, with Chuck smack dab in the middle of them all! They then traversed the corridors and pathways till they came to the disgustingly pink throne room. And there sitting on the throne was the pink dressed, blonde, wraith queen. "Like, Oh my gawd! What are these humans doing in here! Get rid of them there gonna ruin my Wedding!" she said in her sickening voice, like nails on a chalkboard. It was then that Amelia noticed Chuck in a cage and in a pink tux. "HELP ME!" He yelled, clearly he was close to dying from prolonged exposure to so much pink. "Hey pinky! No way in heck are you marring MY MAN!" everyone then looked at her like she was crazy, and Sheppard forked over twenty bucks to Ronon, thankfully this was unseen by the crazy chick with the bazooka. BOOM! Amelia then shot off a rocket at the pink queen, blowing up the wall behind her in the process. The wraith then all bowed down to Amelia who had saved them from the pink queens sickening wrath. Soon after, Amelia relinquished her control over the pink hive to Todd. Alls well that ends well… Amelia thought as she sat in her chair in the gate room of Atlantis, she was bored so she decided to play chess with her good friend Chuck. But when she sent him the invitation message he did not reply… was he in the bathroom or something? Amelia the looked up and saw him gone, it was not long till she said "hey guys… where's Chuck?"

------------------Back at the hive-------------------

"HEEELLLOOO! Is anyone gonna get me out of this cage?"

* * *

this oneshot was actually based on a dream i had way back, except it made a lot less sense then.


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